Is there some sort of male law that makes heterosexual adult males incapable of the following?
- Replacing the roll of toilet paper
- Handing over one plastic-wrapped and therefore invisible ultra-thin maxi pad when a woman has declared an emergency
- Replacing the roll of paper towels
- Remembering that the paper towels are kept in the front closet, and have been for five years
- Picking up the hand towel in the bathroom after throwing it on the floor
- Throwing out the empty box after consuming the last granola bar, cracker, cookie, or other high-carb treat
- Drinking from a glass instead of the container when no one is watching
I'd really like to know, so I can go appeal to the judge. Or better yet, become the judge.
2 comments:
If you want the other side of these stories—where the pendulum swings much closer to the unbiased/unadulterated truth—read on . . .
#1—Does the husband deserve to be blamed if the wife doesn't keep the extra toilet paper in the expensive bathroom canister he bought for her?
#2—Some things, such as “unmentionables,” should not be discussed between men and women, let alone handling them!
#3—Like the pepper mill, I get minimal use out of the paper towels and they always seem to run out when I need them!
#4—This is probably true, but the original master architects, who designed this closet (at the main entrance to the house), intended it to be a coat closet. Why are paper towels stored in a coat closet?
#5—Not guilty. Perhaps the towel falls off the rack after I leave the bathroom!
#6—A childhood habit that has been corrected since childhood . . . most of the time.
#7—It’s a guy thing. Come on, when no one is watching . . . and when it is something that no one else drinks . . . absolutely permissible!
Oh, please.
1. You bought it for me? Uh, no. We both work. We both pay. And since when is $10 at Target expensive?
2. Sorry, dear, but half the world bleeds. Get over it!
3. You are the pepper hound, and you are always screaming for more towels. I don't scream, I refill.
4. The towels are in the coat closet because your FOOD fills up the whole pantry. And the ones in the hall closet would require you to stretch AND bend. I am realistic.
5. Yes, I guess we have self-propelling suicidal towels.
6. Delusions, delusions.
7. And absolutely disgusting. If I want to taste your spit, I'll kiss you.
love,
the fat lady
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